I am ‘riding out’ this historic Covid 19 pandemic on Maui. I am swimming purposefully and gratefully in this unique experience. I am considering and evaluating much. I am enjoying it immensely. I am being in the moment a lot and liking where I am!
I am also spending as much time as I can in the water, in the warm waves off land. As usual I am exploring the sensuality and foreignness of being there, there where life is relentlessly wet, and the limits of gravity are so very different to move free and alive within. I love all the time I spend feeling and enjoying that unique mobility, that unique experience of expressed embodiment. Living there, in the wild and wet, feels altering perceptibly and permanently! I feel it offering me a lot.
In the water, swimming innocently with all the ocean life I imagine, I feel often that I have left the more known world of, ‘to be, means to feel how I do’ and have slipped delightfully into a state of ‘to be, means to allow how I am.’ I allow the waves to move me, I allow the salty water to hold me, I allow my body to let go of the effort needed to resist the relentless force of gravity that defines terrestrial living.
As well, in the erotic I feel also both the profound limits of the flesh and qualities of being that are beyond the incarnated fragile body. In the erotic, the gravity of civility is so sweetly reduced. In the erotic I feel the gravity of the superior inheritance of biological life gracefully allowed. In the erotic I feel myself true.
In both then, in the tangible and the intangible salty sea, off the shores of reductive civility, and in the vast ocean of erotic adventuring I find much value and meaning. In the salty flesh of the erotic I play in a multitude of purposeful ways. In the salty sea of my desires allowed, I experience the incarnated body, with its forms and limits enlivened by a formless energetic wisdom invoked and experienced only as the unique ‘spirit of the moment’, of moments swollen with direction only to float about in willingly.
In the ocean to valuing such moments I feel myself differently. It is a chance to explore how to play in, and to stay present with the less familiar, the less reduced, the less defined by redundant conformity. This chance reminds me of why I value the erotic so dearly. I value feeling moved by the energetic intention of moments, by being moved by a once only wave, or by a once only spark of passion. Being in the erotic, as well as being in waves allows me to swim in a deep emotionally rich somatic experience of active surrender.
Diving then, aware and attentive, into the rich realms of my erotic life I feel myself both of this world and of some other world. There I find parts of me that are so essentially human, such as how I desire, or how I feel both free and insecure. I also feel other aspects that do not feel of the temporal human, like the truth of joy soaring independent from the body-as-usual.
Is one realm, on the shore allowed or in the sea free, more meaningful or important to know as a person striving to be soulfully healthy and happy? Are both realms necessary to learn something useable for inspiring maturity and contentment? What is needed to be with both more deeply, more ‘skillfully? Does one inform or inspire the other, first or better? Is one more essential, or primary?
Is the flesh informed by the divinity of the moment or the divinity of the moment inspiring by the flesh expressed?