Part One: Her!
We had been making love for over an hour! We had been gracefully alive in our bodies. Our hearts were full, and our spirits had been well fed, very well fed.
I was ready to slow down, to pause. I knew she wanted to ‘stay in’ longer. Why wouldn’t she, given her persistent desire, her longing to be in her authentic erotic essence dutifully alive, why would she want to slow down, or ever pause, or ever readjust back to the endless profanity of civility. Why wouldn’t she want to stay in her vital essence forever!
She is special in that way. It is something about her I adore! She expresses a remarkable innocence whenever she allows her erotic purity to shine. Her capacity to embody the erotic is amazingly beautiful to witness. When she moves deliciously about in her body, everyone notices. Whenever we are out socially someone inevitably asks me, “Are you going to introduce me to that beautiful woman?” Often I just smile and nod at the longing requests. Inside I think, ‘oh, you could be so lucky!’ I know how true it is; she stirs desires, as she does in me, in so many innocent bodies, hearts and spirits yearning.
She is a mistress at activating a sphere of magnetic beauty around her. When ever she feels the direction of many eyes upon her she feels as if she is on a stage just for her, a stage for her to dance upon and to seduce whoever is willing to be led into the magnificence of her charm and beauty. It is a place where even she drops her guard and tangos with life, tango with the aspect of life known as Eros!
She talked about it once with me. She explained to me once that it is a way; it is a time and place she feels her unique self honestly expressed, valued, and cherished. Validating her willingness to shamelessly explore her authentic erotic essence nourishes her soul. In her willingness, she shines. In her willingness she brightly shines.
Like an artist mixing colors, or like a sculptor polishing stone she loves to play with her alluring presence. She is an artist; an erotic artist in spirit, form, and faith. As an erotic artist she feels her unique way in the world as engaging play, for inside the recesses of her capacity to play she finds a special joy, her meaning. And in that joyful and meaningful play she also practices love. And in that capacity we met, now play, and love each other true! I adore, respect and cherished her orientation towards seduction. Why wouldn’t I; she is my sexy queen and I am her desirous king proud by her side !
In all the capacities we can posses, playing more or deeper in our quests to find meaning consistently inspires me the most. Finding meaning, some would say, is the very reason our brains enlarged and developed as they have. Some say we developed our uniquely human capacity to quest for meaning so that we could dive deeper into the paradox of living meaningfully in a perceivable meaningless universe. Given how many tall tales of meaning humans have imposed onto reality, how could it not be true? In my sexy queens reality, her meaning is how well she feels herself turned on, alive in her body, and unapologetically Eros’s ever-willing mate. Her truth is feeling erotically alive! She knows this about herself. She knows this about life. She knows ‘meanings’ may come and go, but the questing, that’s what is constant. She feels it as a game and as an artist, she decides, through sex, to create meaning for her brilliance to be unabashedly expressed and dutifully adored!
And, as she chooses to develop further and further her remarkable orientation towards erotic exuberance, she excels in that game! And given her ‘winner’ status, she is only inspired to quest on, to quest beyond the rules, beyond the rules of prudence and the dignified obligations upheld by civility.
Beyond the rules, and in her power, she also activates other equally meaningful erotic and otherwise aspirations. One adamant aspiration of hers is a total commitment to resisting listening to anyone telling her how to be a sexual woman. I also love that about her. She inspires me. She is never reluctant to show her depth as a sex-loving woman, a woman who can say she loves sex like I have never heard another woman voice before. She is clear, sex is her path, her way, it is what she desires most to feel, and from where she most wants to live! She is a lovemaking champion!
As such, I never want to disappoint her, but I do sometimes need to share with her my need for breaks. Sometimes I need a pause, a time to slow everything down; to take time for me to savor what has been felt and to reconnect with aspects of my potential before going back in for more! This is often difficult for her to hear. This was one of those moments.